Hot and sweaty, still wearing my cycling clothes after yesterday's 50-mile ride out to the airport and back, I stopped by Schlotsky's to pick up a couple sandwiches for Turtle's and my lunch.
The kid behind the register asked, "To go?"
I chuckled. "Yeah. I wouldn't want to stink out your other customers."
"That's not what I meant," he said. "I just figured you didn't look like you'd be staying here and eating both of those sandwiches."
"Nicely done!" I said, impressed by his insight. "You're gonna do well."
While I was waiting by the pickup window for my order, I "overheard" a young woman at a nearby table talking to her male companion loudly enough for me to be sure I was meant to hear.
"Look at that guy. He looks ridiculous. I'll bet he's gay."
I ignored her. I mean, let's be realistic: grown men in lycra do look kind of silly and, yes... maybe even... effeminate.
"I mean, I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but how gay does that look."
Oh goody. At least I was getting the benefit of doubt. I still pretended not to hear.
As the two of them got up to leave, they walked right past me. He was a dull-looking 20-something in a "wife beater" undershirt and baggy jeans. She was about the same age, wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. She was substantially overweight and plodded when she walked.
"So gay lookin'," she muttered under her breath as she passed.
I didn't ignore it this time. I said, mildly, "Look, I know I'm supposed to feel hurt or angry or something, but here's the thing: I'm just too caught up in the irony of it all."
Her response was to laugh disdainfully and waddle off.
I'm pretty sure she had no idea what I'd just said to her.
6 comments:
I cannot believe anyone would have the nerve to say that to/at you! You almost have to feel sorry for people who must be so miserable on the inside to behave that way.
What a classic response. The sad part is exactly what you said...the waddler has no idea what you meant by that and will no doubt transfer this ignorance on to her progeny one day.
At the risk of over-philosophizing on something that's just a blip on the radar, I think what that gal did is something that has, sadly, become common in our society, where aggressiveness and the ability to dominate another have come to be equated with being respected. You see it in the rude and agressive way that people drive, in the way they push to the head of a line, as if their time and their instant gratification are all that count.
Yes, Ms. Nasty didn't strike me as being a person happy with her lot in life, but some people are just plain mean.
Just know that whatever her intentions, I wasn't crushed by the experience. I'll still wear my goofy lycra duds, and I'll still chuckle every time I think about what an absurd encounter it was.
For whatever reason, I was reminded of the classic scene from "Say Anything" where Lloyd gets advice from the losers hanging out at the convenience store:
Lloyd: "If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like Gas 'n Sip on a Saturday night, completely alone, drinking beers, no women anywhere?"
Losers: (long beat) "By choice, man, by choice."
Let's call this the 11th commandment: Getting fashion or lifestyle advice from a Schlotsky's patron is never a good idea.
10 points to Foo! Who cares if SHE got it? We did. There are far too many idiots in this world, and too little "natural selection" going on.
And I'm sure Turtle would have loved to give them a piece of her mind. ;)
Bret: Oooo! I should have hit her with my latest inspired quotable: "Do these shorts make my butt look fast?"
Tink: Nah. Somehow I imagine Turtle would see other women thinking I'm gay as a Good Thing™ [*snort*]
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