Ever since The Da Vinci Code hit the big screen, The Discovery Channel and The History Channel have been running documentaries purporting to debunk the life of Christ. For years, they've been running UFO programs so chock-full of nuts that they should be sponsored by Snickers, Planters, and Aunt Myrtle's fruitcake.
On occasion, I stumble upon one of these while flipping channels and watch for a while, like a rubbernecking commuter who spots an overturned pickup truck on his way to work—but not recently. Which is why I was a little surprised by the strange burgoo that my subconscious was cooking up when the alarm went off at 5:20 this morning.
The Christmas-themed outlandishness went something like this: Mary, mother of Jesus, remained a virgin not because of anything to do with divinity or miracles but because she didn't give birth to Jesus at all. The whole thing was a bit of legerdemain on the part of benevolent space aliens who implanted baby Jesus in the womb of a mare.*
When Mary and Joseph made the trek to Bethlehem, it was this same mare who carried Mary on her back and Jesus in her belly. Then, once they were all settled away in the manger, the mare gave birth. Mary took all the credit and the presents.
Speaking of presents, it turns out that the star followed by the three magi wasn't actually a star at all. It wasn't even a comet. It was the alien mother ship, decloaked and running with all its exterior lights on, that guided the wise men to Bethlehem.
The views and opinions expressed in this dream do not necessarily state or reflect those of the author.
The holiday trip can't come soon enough. I obviously need some rest.
* The equine in question being a horse, not a donkey. It seems that my dream generator's capacity for blasphemy has its limits.
4 comments:
Was that three magi or ten?
LOL! Hoop, my Mom, and I have been watching those programs over the last week, out of curiousity more than anything. At first I thought you were reporting something you'd watched on one of those shows. I kept thinking, "How did I miss that?!" You're too funny Foo.
...the womb of a mare...
I chalk that one up to the theory's creator's inability to spell "Mary."
I love the logic that a virgin birth is too much to believe, but space aliens, or clams from another galaxy, or any such nonsense is completely realistic.
HAHA!! heaven' to betsy, you need to adjust your evening routine: No more Aunt Myrtle's fruitcake topped with a chapter concocted by the brilliant Douglas Adams. Makes good material for blogging though.
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