In a sweetly magnanimous holiday gesture toward my friends and/or coworkers, Turtle sent goodies to work with me today. She lined an 11"x14" cake pan with festive tissue paper and packed it with an assortment of snickerdoodles, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, peppermint fudge, cranberry bread, and (the infamous) cinnamon popcorn. She gave me clear instructions regarding the manner in which these treats were to be distributed, noting that there wasn't enough for everyone.
So I rolled in at 6:20 and promptly fired off an email to any and every one at this place with whom I've ever had a remotely agreeable conversation, inviting them to come and avail themselves of my wife's largesse. Then, I sat back and waited to greet my holiday visitors.
By 10:00, only a handful of people had partaken – mostly after I'd corralled them in the halls – and each of them made a show of daintily picking out a single cookie or half a slice of cranberry bread. Finally, fearing that I might have to take the lot home with me, I placed the pan in the kitchen area for the general populace. I stopped at the men's room, after which I passed by the kitchen on the way back to my cubicle.
Half the pan had been emptied. One startled coworker was standing over the pan, cheeks full, with an expression on his face that I haven't seen since the time I was camping caught a family of raccoons raiding my cooler. He was one of the guys who had been on my original list of invitees.
Apparently, Christmas goodies are much more attractive when they can be eaten anonymously.
The senses consume. The mind digests. The blog expels.
Certain individuals keep telling me that I should be a writer (Hi Mom). This is probably as close as I'll ever come to making that happen.
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4 comments:
Anonymously eaten Christmas goodies also have many fewer calories than those eaten with the knowledge of the provider.
I can just see that guy looking guilty.
Heh.
@Mrs. H: I think you may be on to something, there.
@Janie: Yep. Kind of the same look as our cats have when we catch them on the counter tops trying to eat something they're not supposed to be eating.
Nobody wants to be a hog anymore, most people are closet hogs apparently. I don't know what the world has come to, but I'm tired of it. People being dainty at the holidays, my goodness!!
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