With more than a little trepidation, I clicked on the button that would bring a fresh batch of e-mails into my inbox and watched as my filters sorted the new arrivals into the appropriate folders. Rats. Four of them had landed in the folder I'd set up for my volunteer webmaster activities.
I opened the first one.
"Mmfph ffmpph mmmph," it read.
Okay, not really, but that's roughly the equivalent of what it did say.
"You say you're having trouble breathing?" I asked, helpfully.
"Ymmmph."
"I see. Well, had you considered pulling your head out?"
You can see where this is going. For the past three days, I have been inundated by a digital parade of ignorance and laziness so vexing that I've had to wrap my head in duct tape to keep it from exploding.
Sometimes I just wish the doorway exiting Darwin's waiting room led to a 10-story drop into thin air.
5 comments:
You want lemmings, on the third floor. Step this way, it's a short cut.
You gotta love those folks who are evolutionary cul-de-sacs, and proud of it.
I've always wondered, do lemmings shriek or squeal on their way down as they hurtle over the cliff?
Nah. More like, "What's that large friendly-looking thing rushing toward me? I wonder if it wants to give me a hug."
Made the mistake of reading the whale sequence in the Hitchhiker's Guide while on a crowded plane.
"Mommy, why is that man laughing and crying at the same time?"
"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now."
-Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Chapter 18
I love those books! My favorite character is the one that keeps coming back only to be killed over and over again by Arthur. I feel like that somedays...
BTW: "You can see where this is going." Well it wasn't with your head wrapped in tape, that's for sure! ;)
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