06 November, 2006

I passed!

I'm sure I will, at least. After more years with my employer than I care to remember, I finally had to take my very first drug screening test. Thanks, Messrs. Graham, Leach, and Bliley.

This morning was when The Examiners came around and, heaven help them, I was prepared. You might ask how one prepares for such a test. Or not... but I'll tell you anyway.
  • Onions
  • Asparagus
  • Lots of strong, black coffee
There's nothing in my body that wasn't prescribed by a doctor or purchased at a fast food drive-through, so I'm confident I'll pass with flying colors. However, it may not be a perfect score.

I expect there could be deductions for going outside the lines.

7 comments:

Leslee said...

You didn't have any poppy seeds on your morning muffin did you?

Tink said...

I'll cross my fingers for you. *Eye roll*

Jenn said...

Oh, asparagus...OH, I'm dying laughing here. That reminds me of my last c-section and the do's and don'ts prior to surgery.

Foo said...

Leslee: No worries. I had a Canadian bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin. And I didn't get any crumbs on my new car's seats. Bonus!

Tink: Yeah, I guess such things would seem pretty silly to someone working for a beer distributor. ;)

Emma: You've just stepped beyond the bounds of my personal experience. Turtle did make me eat asparagus a couple times, though.

Eric: Which is as it should be, a premise born out by Susie's claim that my ramblings are unintelligible to the feminine mind. That said, when I finished, the female lab tech offered me a couple moistened towelettes.

I grinned at her and said, "No thanks, ma'am. It's like Elvis Costello said."

"Excuse me?" she said.

"'My Aim Is True'," I explained.

"No," she said. "I meant who's Elvis Costello?"

<*le sigh*>

Suzy-Q said...

gaross!! asparagus! you are so mean!

Foo said...

Susie: My study partner was Mr. Coffee (no relation to Emmers' fella).

Anne said...

Okay, I can finally comment here. I got the "outside the lines" right off AND Eric's "drift"ing comment. I am all too familiar with those issues.

By the way Foo,
I have a challenge for you.
Come see.

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