I'm sure I
will, at least. After more years with my employer than I care to remember, I finally had to take my very first drug screening test. Thanks, Messrs.
Graham, Leach, and Bliley.
This morning was when The Examiners came around and, heaven help them, I was prepared. You might ask how one prepares for such a test. Or not... but I'll tell you anyway.
- Onions
- Asparagus
- Lots of strong, black coffee
There's nothing in my body that wasn't prescribed by a doctor or purchased at a fast food drive-through, so I'm confident I'll pass with flying colors. However, it may not be a perfect score.
I expect there could be deductions for going outside the lines.
7 comments:
You didn't have any poppy seeds on your morning muffin did you?
I'll cross my fingers for you. *Eye roll*
Oh, asparagus...OH, I'm dying laughing here. That reminds me of my last c-section and the do's and don'ts prior to surgery.
Leslee: No worries. I had a Canadian bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin. And I didn't get any crumbs on my new car's seats. Bonus!
Tink: Yeah, I guess such things would seem pretty silly to someone working for a beer distributor. ;)
Emma: You've just stepped beyond the bounds of my personal experience. Turtle did make me eat asparagus a couple times, though.
Eric: Which is as it should be, a premise born out by Susie's claim that my ramblings are unintelligible to the feminine mind. That said, when I finished, the female lab tech offered me a couple moistened towelettes.
I grinned at her and said, "No thanks, ma'am. It's like Elvis Costello said."
"Excuse me?" she said.
"'My Aim Is True'," I explained.
"No," she said. "I meant who's Elvis Costello?"
<*le sigh*>
gaross!! asparagus! you are so mean!
Susie: My study partner was Mr. Coffee (no relation to Emmers' fella).
Okay, I can finally comment here. I got the "outside the lines" right off AND Eric's "drift"ing comment. I am all too familiar with those issues.
By the way Foo,
I have a challenge for you.
Come see.
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