I know that's just wrong.
I can't help it.
When I was a little kid, I once found myself stranded on the throne when I took a dictionary in with me, lost track of time, and found my legs had fallen asleep. As an adult, during a slow period at work, I spent endless hours reading the alt.usage.english newsgroup. Somewhere in the midst of all the biting sarcasm and chest thumping on the part of brainy but insecure academians, I learned a bunch of fascinating but essentially useless things.
The following test was the topic of some discussion in the newsgroup, but since I stumbled across this blog version while "next blogging" I thought I'd share my results. Take a whack at it and see how close you think the test comes to identifying your dialect.
Your Linguistic Profile: |
| 65% General American English |
| 20% Dixie |
| 15% Yankee |
| 0% Midwestern |
| 0% Upper Midwestern |
Sweetie and I were surprised that my results didn't show me to be less Dixie and more Midwest, but I suppose that's a result of my having lived in the South for more than thirty years. It doesn't mean ah sayound lahk eeyit, but I expect the words I use have changed.
For instance, when I was a kid we always called soft drinks pop. When we moved to the South, everyone called everything Coke.
"Would you like a Coke?" a friend would ask after we'd been out ramping around the neighborhood all afternoon.
"Sure."
"What kind?" he'd ask.
Bear in mind that this scene took place in the early '70s, when there was no Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Classic Coke, Ultra Coke, Golden Age Coke, Asparagus Coke...
There was Coca-Cola. The one, the original. The only difference between one icy cold Coke and another was whether it came in one of those little 10oz. bottles—reputed to be stronger—or not.
But I digress. I was just being offered a Coke.
"Sure," I'd say.
"What kind?"
"What do you mean, 'What kind?'"
"Well," my friend would say, taking a deep breath, "we've got Orange Crush, Dr. Pepper, Sprite..."
Sprite was pronounced "spraaaht".
"...and Coke"
"Oh. Well, I'll just have a Coke, thanks."
"What kind?"
[seethe]
So, in an effort to prevent at least one part of my life from turning into a pale imitation of an Abbott & Costello sketch, I compromised and started referring to soft drinks as sodas. This saved me from being ridiculed by the Southerners for saying pop, while at the same time avoiding the unacceptable level of ambiguity that was a consequence of referring to everything as Coke.
I still say "you guys", though. Just to get under Southerners' skin.
The Dandy Warhols, Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia
5 comments:
"Balderdash"? I've heard the name, but isn't that one of those egg timer games? I refuse to play egg timer games.
I don't need the stress.
Regarding the language test, I don't know what your results would make you. Actually, I don't think they make you or anyone else anything at all. Given the brevity of the test, it's probably not even very accurate. But it was kind of fun, yeah?
[I originally had more here, but it went long and I appended it to the original posting. Look there.]
40% Dixie here, which shouldn't be a surprise since I've spent basically all of my adult life below the Mason-Dixon line. Of course, if the questions were more accurate, more of my southern tendencies would have been revealed. For instance, the question on basements was missing option (c): something that isn't built when the water table is approximately 2 feet below the surface.
My lone Yankee tendency was apparently over the term "sunshower," which I inherited from my mother. I think I can live with it, but normally I say "rgxbtlh" to Yankees. Or at least when Blogger asks me to.
Fhere is no way we'd buy that game, because I'd never win! Did you know (for fun) he likes learning new words, so he subscribes to some daily new word of the day???? *gag* And would you believe I AM the writer in the family?
Well mine was:
60% General American English
20% Dixie
10% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern
0% Yankee
I had to leave a couple of them blank including the "coke" one. I USED to say "coke" but now I say "soft drink".
Uncle Joe was
55
20
10
10
5
Aunt Josefina was
65 20 10 5
How that happend i have no clue
Y'all are funny! I have to go. Uncle Joe has a pop for me.
~Aunt Josefina
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