When you're hot, you're hot

I received this from Turtle a while back. Since she's not using it, I will.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN SUMMER [May - October] WHEN...

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• You can make sun tea instantly.
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
• You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
• You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home. God Bless the State of TEXAS!!

Turtle adds...

• You take out an equity loan to pay the AC bill.